


What The Fanfiction?!?!

by EmbraceSadness



Category: Naruto
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfiction, Comedy, Fanfiction, Funny, Happy, Happy Birthday, How Do I Tag, I Love You, Lolita, M/M, Multi, Other, Perversion, Random & Short, Reaction, Some angst, Sorry Not Sorry, for varmint, hehe, naruto party!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 17:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7448575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbraceSadness/pseuds/EmbraceSadness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The characters from Naruto get together and read Varmint's fanfiction! Happy birthday to my good friend Varmint! This one's for you!! ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What The Fanfiction?!?!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Varmint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varmint/gifts).



> Happy Birthday!!! Enjoy!!
> 
> (if anybody else is reading this, go read Varm's stuff first! It'll make more sense! She's an AMAZING writer!!! :D)
> 
> Also, note: these are not my reactions in any way. I personally adore all these fics. These are the CHARACTERS reactions. I intend no hate or menace in writing this. Only smiles.

  

“Hey, um, guys? You know what _fanfiction_ is?”

And with that, all eyes turned to Kiba. Everybody seemed to react differently to the question, though. Hinata stared with wide, fearful eyes over in his direction-which was basically her normal expression, anyways-, Shino looked over with indifference in his narrowed bug-like eyes, Neji stared silently over at him with that blank expression of his on his face, and Sakura looked over with a mysterious twinkle in her eye.

Kiba knew that twinkle all too well. He also knew that it meant no good…

But really, _nothing_ meant good when dealing with Sakura…

“‘Course we know what it is! Who doesn't!??” Naruto rightfully screamed in his ear, blatantly deafening him for the rest of his life (hey, at least he wouldn’t have to hear the nin blabbing in his ear all the time…).

Actually, Naruto was the reason they were all here right now. At about eleven in the morning, he had made the executive decision of all the ninin Leaf village having a “sleepover”. Well, all the nin he knew anyways. And, in Naruto’s eyes, they were probably the _only_ nin.

After a fun-filled crazed night, here they all were, completely exhausted laying around in Kiba’s house. Kiba had no idea how they had _got_ here, or even when he had _allowed_ them in-he probably _hadn’t_ -but, here they were. At two o'clock.

Talking about frugging _fanfiction_.

Wincing, Kiba continued on with what he had been saying before he had been almost deafened by the anomaly that was Naruto.

“Well, um, I hate to break it to you. But, there’s fanfiction. About _us_.”

And that was how it had all began…

* * *

 

 “Okay, so there’s one here called _Bottom of the Bottle._ Click that one.”

Kiba would have done as instructed, but Naruto reached over and stole the magical device that was the Internet from him seconds before he could. Huffing in annoyance, Kiba decided that he was far too tired to try to argue with Kiba tonight-early morning, really.

Naruto made a face. “This one is about Kankuro. WHERE’S ONE ABOUT _ME_!?!?”

Sakura slapped him across the head. “ _Give_ me that. _Honestly_ , you’re such a- _Jesus_. This is _depressing_.”

“What? What is it?” Rock Lee questioned curiously, peeking out from behind the crowd of people that had swamped both he and Naruto.

Sakura sighed. “Here, i’ll read you a passage. Okay, it says _: Now Kankuro sat behind his bed with a large cup of dark brown liquid in his left hand while the right rested over his right knee. His eyes were unfocused even as they stared out into the dark Suna sky._ _Nobody_ _had needed him. Nobody had needed_ _him_ _._ _Nobody needed him. _ See what I mean!?” she exclaimed.

They all stared in shock as all eyes in the room turned to the just as shocked Kankuro sitting a few feet away. He hadn’t really been paying very much attention, but now he was _all ears_.

“Kankuro…” Sakura began, “Are you an _alcoholic_?”

The boy’s face went from one of shock to anger in a split second.

“No! Of course not! Piss off!” he growled out angrily, storming to another random room in his house. Kiba heard things being thrown around along with screams of rage and sighed when he realized that he was going to be the one tasked with cleaning up this mess.

Well, he supposed he should count himself lucky. After all, at least there was no fanfiction about him-

“Hey! Look! Here’s one about Kiba!”

Dammit all to hell.

Groaning, Kiba attempted to steal the device back from the highly amused Naruto, but it was to no avail. Naruto clicked on the link that attached to the story.

“Ohh. This one’s called _Dancing with the Devil_. Is it a story of looooooovvveeeee???” Naruto giggled out, painfully drawling out that last word.

“Naruto, give it back! You dumb prick!” Kiba growled out as he and Akamaru tag-teamed Naruto in an attempt to rid Kiba of future embarrassment. It didn’t work. Of course it didn’t…

“ _Kiba loves Kisame. Kisame loves Kiba-_ WAIT, WHAT?” Naruto erupted into an uproar of laughter as Kiba practically lost all the color in his face.

No. Nonononono. He and- _Kisame?_ _What._

_What kind of sick messed up person would write something about him and Kisame of all people-?_

 “- _Should be simple enough, right? Wrong. They're caught on opposing sides of history. Kisame isn't good at dealing with his emotions. And Kiba allows his instincts to run rampant at times Kisame needs to be reigned in. But, somehow, they make their relationship work. A collection of one-shots centered around this very relationship. Kisame/Kiba_.” Sakura finished reading the rest of it for Naruto who was now rolling on the ground laughing his ass off.

Kiba could literally think of twenty different ways to kill him right then and there.

“Kiba! I never knew you had a secret relationship with the shark-nin!” Sakura managed out between giggles, which just made Naruto laugh even harder.

Kiba grumbled angrily under his breath. “ _I don’t._ ” he said coldly, swiping away the device from Sakura’s hands.

‘ _Okay, Kiba. Let’s not panic. At least there’s only one fanfiction. There can’t possibly be others-_ ’

“Hey. Look. There’s God knows how many Kiba stories.” Shikamaru grunted out from behind him. Kiba froze.

‘ _Godammit! Are you kidding me??_ ’

“Ohmygodnoway.” Sakura said it so fast, Kiba barely picked up on it. Suddenly, the device was being swiped from his hands by Sakura once again who was scrolling through it with the funniest expression on her face.

“We. Are. Reading. All. Of. These.”

“NO. SCREW THAT.” Kiba hissed, attempting to steal back the device once more. Sakura snorted and clicked on another link.

“All of them Kiba! Each and every single one-!” she then erupted into laughter, dropping the device and falling to the floor to join the now still Naruto, who had stopped laughing quite some time ago.

Kiba secretly hoped he was dead. Never mind the secretly part. Kiba _hoped_ he was dead.

“What?” Hinata questioned quietly, “What is it, Sakura?”

“The. Title.” Sakura wheezed out between breaths. Confused, Shikamaru grabbed the contraption up and stared at the screen thoughtfully.

“It says “Orochimaru’s New Pets”.”

Complete silence, and then they all burst into a fit of laughter, Kiba included. He knew the story was probably about _him_ , but he couldn't help it. That title was so funny.

Some other people joined Naruto and Sakura on the floor, and Kiba took the time to steal back the modern invention from Shikamaru and scroll through the story, chuckling all the while.

That was, at least, until he came across one specific part…

“NARUTO. YOU POMPOUS BASTARD.”

Naruto took a break from laughing-though still let out a giggle from here to there-to look at Kiba curiously.

“What?” he asked all too innocently for Kiba’s liking.

“You fed me to the dogs!!! Look:  _"Alright, children, seeing how most of you are awake, I shall give you the choice of who of you shall be the first to be experimented on.""The hell?" Kankuro asked, finally sitting up to glare at the snake man. "Experimented on? Do you actually think we'd give anyone-" "Take Kiba!" Naruto shouted, interrupting Kankuro's speech on being squad mates. And before the dog nin could really make sense of what was happening, a crazed Naruto was at his side and pushing him towards Orochimaru. He began to struggle, but it proved to be too late because he was cut off by two snakes wrapping around his body and cutting off his movements. "The dog shall be the first to be changed?" Orochimaru asked, smirking as Naruto began to nod rapidly-_ ”

Kiba was interrupted when they all burst into another bout of laughter, Naruto laughing the loudest of all.

That was when Kankuro decided to re enter the room. The look on his face was what broke Kiba, and he joined the others in their guffawing.

And that was only the beginning.

* * *

 

“Ohhhh! This next one if spanish! _O-juice colour sole._ ”

“That’s not how you say it, Naruto.”

“EW! Kiba’s with an old guy!”

“I’M WHAT?”

“He’s with Hidan! EW. EWEWEW.”

“Wait a minute-DID YOU JUST CALL ME OLD!?”

“YOU’RE A FUCKING PEDOPHILE.”

“Why the hell do you hate ants? Ants are the most wonderful creatures in the world.”

“Shut up, Shino. Nobody cares about your bug obsession."

“Oh my God. Kiba literally fell for Hidan.”

“SHUTUPNOIDIDN’T.”

“EW. YOU PERV. YOU KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIS BODY. AND HIS EYES. THAT’S JUST PLAIN WEIRD.”

“ _I’M NOT A PEDOPHILE!!!!!!!!!_ ”

* * *

 

“ _Bound to the enemy_ ? What kind of a title is _that_?”

“Oh my God. What is up with Kiba and creeps?!?!?”

“ _Please_ don’t tell me Hidan’s in this one.”

“ _I’M NOT A-”_

“Oh my God, this is dark.”

“JESUS. Did they just-?”

“I think they did-”

“That’s awful!”

“Uh oh! Kiba’s ol’ ex boyfriend Kisame is back!”

“FOR THE LAST TIME. HE’S NOT MY-”

“WHY AM I NEVER IN ANY OF THESE!?!?”

“SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU GAVE ME UP TO A MAD MAN!! YOU DON’T _DESERVE_ TO BE IN ANY OF THESE!!!”

“Wait, wait. Hold the _hell_ up. Is Kiba being put in a relationship with _Itachi_?”

“ _What_.”

“Isn’t that your brother, Sasuke? The crazy one that tried to _KILL US ALL_!?!?!”

“Hey! Lady Tsunade is in this!”

“AND she’s keeping secrets from us…”

“Shino. Always the paranoid one.”

“You know, I get the feeling whenever Shino and I show up, it’s always me as the quiet one and Shino as the annoyed one.”

“Hate to break it to you, Hinata, but it’s basically the same in real life too.”

“Oh.”

“NARUTO!”

“OW. WHY’D YOU HIT ME!?”

“Do you know _anything_ about pleasing a girl? Honestly!”

“Oh. My. God. Akamaru just called Itachi Bitch face. I’m _so_ done.”

“I find after reading this I no longer trust Lady Tsunade.”

“You don’t trust _anyone_ Shino.”

“Guys. Did we seriously just read over forty-thousand words of this shit?"

* * *

 

“ _No Broken Hearts_!”

“Isn’t there a song based off of that?”

“I think by Nicki Minaj. I hate her.”

“But, Sakura, you’re exactly like her…”

“NARUTO I WILL KILL YOU-”

“Oh. Look. It’s another Kiba one. _Go figure_.”

“Who am I with _this time?_ ”

“Gaara.”

“WHAT.”

“ _What_.”

“Wow, you guys! That was pretty much in sync! You _ARE_ made for eachother!”

“Shut up.”

“No.”

“Aren’t we a little young to be drinking?”

“Oh no! We’ll be caught by the sensei’s!!!”

“You worry too much, Hinata.”

“Of course it’s Naruto and Sakura behind all if this.”

“WHAT’S _THAT_ SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!?!”

“This is apparently a part of a series. Focusing around Kiba. _Go figure_.”

“Gaara’s so socially awkward, it’s killing me.”

“I hold no arguments to that statement.”

“Not to self: Take Gaara out more often.”

“Hey! This one indirectly mentions Kankuro! I wonder if during this time he was being an alcoholic.”

“I’m not an alcoholic.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“Goddamn. Kiba’s drunk off his ass! I’m surprised he didn’t think Gaara was a dog like Neji did with Kiba that one time.”

“One. Time. That was _one time._ ”

“Yup. And i’m never going to let you live it down.”

“We were caught by the sensei’s.”

“I told you so!”

“Note to self: Take Hinata out more with Gaara.”

“Yeah. Maybe they can have a threesome with Kiba.”

“NOT FUNNY.”

“Aww. Okay, this one wasn’t so bad! I liked the ending.”

“Said the obsessed fangirl as she read dirty, gay fanfiction about two of her completely straight friends.”

“I STILL WANT TO KNOW WHY NONE OF THESE ARE ABOUT ME!?!?”

* * *

 

“Okay. This officially went weird. One about Sasuke and Kiba.”

“What.”

“Actually, wait. Sasuke’s apparently an abusive boyfriend?”

“That’s bullshit!”

“Said the girl about the boy she was crushing on.”

“SHUT UP, SHINO. Don’t mind him Sasuke. _Eh heh_ …”

“Ibiki’s in this one too.”

“THE TORTURE GUY!?!?”

“Maybe he, Sasuke, and Kiba can all get together for a threesome.”

“STILL NOT FUNNY.”

“This one is in first person. It actually sounds more like Kiba this way! I mean, before we were the narrators, but-”

“OHH! Kiba should read it! That way, it sounds even more like him!”

“No. I refuse. Never.”

“But-”

“ _No_.”

“Guys! What is it with Kiba and old guys!?!?”

“Maybe he’s a lolita.”

“...”

“You know, a person who likes older people.”

“JESUS CHRIST, NO.”

“God. This one is really sad. It makes me want to go back to the one about Orochimaru's pets…”

“God. Not _that_.”

“This makes us out to be shitty friends.”

“You _are_ shitty friends.”

“ _Gee_. Tell us how you _really_ feel, Kiba.”

“In which case, i’m only getting started.”

“Kiba doesn’t like silence. _Noted_. GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHALOUDNOISES.”

“ _JESUS_ NARUTO! WHY!!??!”

“ _Heh heh…_ ”

“ _And_ my ears are broken for the rest of forever.”

“WILL SOMEBODY _PLEASE_ WRITE A STORY ABOUT ME, ALREADY!?!?!”

* * *

 

“So, what did we all learn from this experience?”

They all turned towards Sakura, her smile big and bright. Kiba groaned as he stretched from the position he had been in for the past few hours.

Sakura was met with a number of responses.

“To never write fanfiction?”

“To never READ fanfiction?”

“To never go out with anybody ever, because it will always end in heartbreak?”

“TO WRITE A FIC ABOUT NARUTO.”

“To make Hinata and Shino less quiet?”

“To appreciate the ants more.”

“To NOT date older guys.”

“TO WRITE ANOTHER FIC ABOUT NARUTO.”

“No!” Sakura exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips and wagging her finger sassily. “ _None_ of those! We learnt that Kiba will _always_ be in a relationship with an older male, and there’s _NOTHING_ he can do about it!!!”

“OH COME ON.”

_Fin_

  
  
  
 

 


End file.
